Colbert + 3D + Science Fiction = Recipe for Success

Dreamworks has had a "long" history of making successful films. Shrek made history and they haven't looked back since. With the release of MvA today, I like to think that the company has reached a new standard in their movies.

First and foremost, the movie looks A-MAZ-ING. The 3D is crisp and makes everything look "real" without sacrificing the cartoon look. For the vainer among you, the 3D glasses are actually nice looking (at least at the Cobb theatre) and are pretty comfortable. The movie also refrains from abusing the medium and only pulls a T2 on a few occasions just to remind you that's you're not watching a normal film. The effects are so well done that you actually stop registering that they're even present after a bit (that's a good thing).

Now a movie can look great, but still manage to suck it up (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within anyone?). I won't lie, I doubt that this will be receiving any awards for writing. There are a smattering of scene with "good" writing, but the true draw of this film is the part that never gets any awards.

This movie is peppered (and by peppered I mean chock full of) with nerd culture references. UFO identified as a "Code Nimoy"? Check.
Stephan Colbert as the President? Big check.
The Golden Gate bridge getting trashed? Checkorooney
B Movie references? Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. and Check.
Mr. Colbert communicating with the Aliens via an iconic 80's pop tune? Che- Actually, I nearly lost bladder control from the laughing.

If you like Pixar, 3D, Monsters, Aliens, Nerd humor, Geek humor, Cliches, Stephan Colbert, or are a child then go see the movie right now. If not, go see it anyway. I'm getting this on DVD and I'm heavily debating going to see it again.

WTF Bama Dining?

Once again I must deviate from my normal subject matter and address something a bit more pertinent than the "lieking of teh mudkipz". Bama Dining has always been good to me and the student body as a whole, but a recent observation has changed my views on our collective provider of all things food. Allow me to spin a little story.

Twice a week I take part in a bit of self inflicted sadism better known as an eight AM class. On these wonderful mornings my daily ritual is as follows:

6:30- Wake up to Aces High set around max volume. (I may be going deaf, but I'm up)
6:33- Stumble into shower and proceed to scald myself in a further attempt to wake up.
6:45ish- More self grooming and dressing with the most readily available clean clothes.
7:00- Watch Robin Meade (Oh baby) while eating "breakfast". (Usually a granola bar and OJ)
7:20- Brush my teeth and head down to the bus stop to catch a ride to BB Comer.

Bear with me here.

On this morning I awoke to discover that I had neglected to restock on supplies over the break and had to make due with a liquid breakfast. As I nursed my 1.5 Liter Green Tea like a $12 drink I thought to myself: "Well, I may as well head to Lakeside after class and get a hot breakfast." Fast forward to about 9:15 and I find myself in front of the aforementioned dining hall. I go in and look down the stairs to the promised land of foodstuffs. Empty and closed off.

"Oh Kaaaaayyyy. I think I'll just head over to our lovely diner which is conveniently located about 30 feet from where I am standing, and prides themselves on offering breakfast up until 3 in the bloody morning."

Empty.

"*$^&!!!!"

While buying a instant oatmeal from the store (which may I add led to some lovely burns and an impressive stream of swearing about 10 minutes later) I learned that the diner used to have a good deal of business in the mornings. Which leads me to this:

WHY IN GOD'S GREEN HELL CAN I GET WAFFLES AND BACON AT 3AM AND NOT IN THE MORNING WHEN THE SODDING THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SERVED?!

Now don't get me wrong, I use the Diner all the time (Where else are you going to get chicken fingers a 1 in the morning?) and I think they've got a number of things right (eg- having a semi streamlined process, pretty good food, and late hours). But come on now, do you expect me to haul my sorry butt up to the Ferg to eat at Fresh Foods (where I eat lunch anyway) just to get a meal that I should be able to get anywhere?

Now if this is fixed I can't claim that I would eat at the Diner every day or even once in a while, but if I can get a hot cheap meal fast like I can at night then I might change my mind. Do the right Bama Dining, give us breakfast back. After all as much as you guys have been pushing proper nutrition, shouldn't you be providing us with the most important meal of the day?

Fallon Watch: Day 2.

Seeing as I have nothing else to watch at 11:30 I figure that I might as well make this a more or less regular thing now. I'm sure that I could tie this into tech somehow, but (let's face it) it would be a stretch at best.


Opening and Monologue

All thing considered this was a pretty good opening for ol'Jimmmy. The jokes funny as a whole and the crowd seemed to enjoy them. There was one awkward pause or two, but that's forgivable. Things seem to be looking up.

Rating: B-


Skits

Facebook Updates- Fallon started out with a parody of Facebook statuses. The bit wasn't especially interesting or funny at first, but got a bit better towards the end with audience members being "drunk" and "wearing their thongs backward. I couldn't help but notice that the transitioning between audience members was rough, but this is something that can be fixed with experience.

The crem de la crem of the segment (and possibly the show) was the final status update, featuring one Michael Bloomberg came up. Bloomberg cracked some jokes about the prior show and posed with Jimmy in front of such scenic locals as City Hall (meh), Castle Greyskull (Woot!), and Max Headroom (OMGWTFBBQ). Fallon may not be as "childish" as Conan, but if he sticks to 80's pop culture, we may have a winner.

Internet Video of the Day- In a word, bah. For starters, a good video needs no commentary. Next, Fallon's commentary only made it worse and the dancer wasn't terribly funny. Lastly, it wasn't that good of a video to begin with.

Rating: B+


Guests

Once again, I don't do celebrities. Fey was funny and had good chemistry with Fallon (Lord knows they should) and Bon Jovi talked a bit and sang. The Roots showed their sheer awesomeness once again by staying on top of Bon Jovi's spontaneous singing and sounding great doing it.

As for Santigold-




Well all in all, this was a huge improvement for Fallon. It's still rough and awkward at times, but Jimmy seems to be settling in.

Rating: B-



Fallon appears to be taking a milder approach to comedy than Conan did. If I had to guess, I'd say that he ends up being popular with the current high school crowd while the rest of the population shifts their attention forward a hour. I've got to say though, it must suck to be Carson Daily.

A Brief Review of Jimmy Fallon's First Show

Well last week we lost a great American hero, Conan O'Brian. America's favorite redhead handed in the reigns to what has become a comedic necessity for America's late night (read: college) television viewers. O'Brian leaves behind a specialized sort of comedy tooled for the "lol masturbating bear" crowd and up. The mantel of Late Night has been placed on SNL and weekend update regular, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon's opening show was last night and proved quite interesting. Since I'm still waiting for my service award to show up my TiVo is currently out of service. So if I missed a detail, bite me.

Opening

Conan makes a cameo in Jimmy's dressing room preshow and has a brief interchange with the new host. Fallon plays the straight man while Conan is his usual self. Apart from O'Brian's remark "Leno's not going anywhere," the skit is ultimately forgettable.

Rating: C-

Monologue and associated skits

Fallon opens the show with a solid monologue that turned out better than I expected. It's a bit early in the game to determine how Fallon's jokes will pan out in the future, but a few of his jokes show promise. One noteworthy element was Fallon "slow jamming" the news with house band "The Roots" backing him up (more on them later). I enjoyed this quite a bit. The bit was on the rough side, but with more practice and fine tuning I think that this will be a show staple.

As with Conan and Leno before him, Fallon opted for the Jokes-Skits-Guests-Music format. The two skits, "Target Demographic" and "Lick if for 10" both were fairly weak, but have room for potential. When the demographic is "Tuba players from West Blockton" I think we will have a winner. "Lick it for 10" had a few laughs but wasn't anything special.

Rating C-

Guests

Wow, this wasn't pretty. Fallon spent the majority of this segment stumbling across lines and making everyone uncomfortable. I let Adrian handle the world of celebrities so I'll keep this short. Robert De Niro was uninteresting and unimpressive apart from the "Space Train" bit.



I hope this was intentionally bad because it was laughably so. Otherwise......

Timberlake on the other hand stole the show. I've never cared for anyone or anything associated with 90's pop music, but J's parody of The Beegees and improvised Budweiser jingles were hilarious and nearly made up for Fallon's frequent fumbles.

Rating: C+

Music

This was one of the few high points of the show. Jimmy's house band, "The Roots" were a breath of fresh air and better than any other house band I've seen (Carson era on) and considerably better that a good number of musical guests. They kept quiet for the most part, but when they played........man. They're keepers. I can't say the same about Van Morrison. From what I could tell it was a good performance, but he dosen't fall within my preferred musical style so I'm not a liberty to pass judgment.

Rating: A+


Fallon had a rocky start but that is to be expected. Just try and tell me you could pull off something like that without a hitch. The main problem that Fallon faces with critics is that he is filling in the 6 foot 4 pompadour sporting hole left by Conan. Jimmy is not Conan and never will be, as soon as he and his critics accept this things will go along swimmingly. Stay tuned and give him some time, Conan started out pretty rough too but look how he turned out.


Overall rating: C+/B-

Doing A Barrel Roll

As some of my 5 odd readers know, Tuscaloosa will be hosting some of the most advanced pieces of technology in the nation. I'm talking, of course, about The Blue Angels. On April 4th and 5th, 6 F/A-18s will take to the skies of Tuscaloosa and proceed to perform precision maneuvers that one usually does not usually associate with a 56 foot long piece of metal flying through the air.

A Very Brief History of the Group

- Formed on April 24, 1946

- First show in May 1946. F6F-5 "Hellcats" were used. This is the first appearance of the trademark Blue with Gold Trim paint scheme.

- Briefly disbanded for combat duty in Kora and reformed on October 25, 1951.

- Moved to their current home of Pensacola in late 1954.

- Changed to flying the F-4J Phantom II in 1969

- On November 8, 1986, (Their 40th anniversary) the group presents the F/A-18 Hornet as the group's new plane of choice. The 18's are still being used today.

"Fun" Facts

- Each engine on a F/A-18 is capable of producing up to 18,000 pounds of thrust. With two engines on a plane and six Angels, that's over 200,000 pounds of raw power altogether.

- The C-130 Hercules, better known as "Fat Albert"*, is fitted with 8 JATO (Jet Assisted Take Off) rockets and often performs a VERY short take off with the assistance of the aforementioned rockets that never fails to impress.

* Not to be confused with one, "Big" Al.

- Contrary to what most people think, the maneuvers performed are implemented by all members of the Naval and Marine Air Corps.

- The group is rumored to be transitioning into the C and D variants of the F/A-18.

Here's a little sample of things to come:




Now if you'll excuse me, I have some tickets to secure.

The Man, the Amorph, and the Mercenaries.

Do a Barrel Roll Blog: Today I have a real treat for you. Howard Tayler, a "rising figure in the webcomics world", has been drawing Schlock Mercenary for the better part of 9 years. He has been kind enough to "sit down" to do an interview with me. How are you Howard?

Howard: I'm fine.

DABRB: So, tell us about the man behind the mercenaries. Who are you exactly?

Howard: I'm a 40-year old father of four with a penchant for fantastic stories and twisted laughter. Fortunately the mother of those four shares most of my tastes.

DABRB: Spoken for eh? I'm sure your female fans are devastated.

Howard: Crushed to the last woman and girl. So sad.

DABRB: You’ve been drawing Schlock Mercenary for 9 years. That's quite the haul, and with no missed days to boot. Two words come to mind: “Why?” and “How?”

Howard: Why? Because it seemed like a fun way to tell a story, and because once I started I realized I needed to set high standards for myself. How? By working ahead, and doing careful failure analysis of the process.

DABRB: A webcomic artist that plans ahead and doesn't procrastinate? That's a first.

Howard: Bear in mind I started this job when I was 31 years old, and had a failed record production company under my belt. Most webcomics are started by teenagers who have no idea what a "decade" looks like. Most successful webcomics are not, however.
Or at least that's my read on it. Somebody needs to go check birthdates now, I guess.

DABRB: Speaking of jobs, do you make a living off of Schlock and the gang or do you moonlight as something else?

Howard: 100% of our family income is derived from the Schlock Mercenary business.
DABRB: That's quite the accomplishment.

Howard: Well... 99.9%. Sandra sold a couple of short stories last year.

DABRB: I seem to recall that she is a children's author, correct?

Howard: She's a lot of things. She's written and self-published a children's book, illustrated by Angela Call. She's also written numerous short stories in a couple of genres, and she's an extraordinary blogger, focusing mostly on issues specific to being a Mom.

DABRB: Well back to the comic. How does your day to day comic making process go?

Howard: Monday -- script in the morning, pencil in the afternoon.
Tuesday, color last week, pencil and ink in the afternoon.
Wednesday. Business tasks, maybe coloring, maybe book tasks.
Thursday, ink the whole week of comics.
Friday and Saturday, business stuff. Conventions. Work on books. Whatever.
The strip itself takes three days out of a six-day work week.

DABRB: fatum asks- How do you find time for the daily updates and other aspects of your life like your family?

Howard: Ummm... I work about 60 hours per week, and make time for family with the rest of it. It's not hard now that I don't have a day job.

DABRB: What did you do before Schlock? Draw other comics?

Howard: Nope. Schlock Mercenary was my very first comic strip. I majored in music composition and sound recording, I started a record production company with a friend, I spent a decade-point-one at Novell doing tech support, then consulting, then product management and marketing. I've done lots of stuff. But not much drawing before March of 2000. I was a SF reviewer for The Internet Mining Company, which became "About.com" sometime after they decided I was too whiney.

DABRB: About.com? That's quite the resume.

Howard: Well... they replaced me, combining the Fantasy and Sci-Fi domains. Nothing impressive there. Bear in mind this was 1996 or thereabouts.

DABRB: When the boy bands roamed wild and free.....

Howard: I considered starting a webcomic in 1995, but I thought I'd need to hire an artist, and I had no idea how images could be made small enough to work over dial-up.

DABRB: Thank God for high speed connections. So how exactly did Schlock start and how would you recommend that aspiring WCAs (Webcomic artists) get their start?

Howard: It started with me thinking that a webcomic looked like a fun way to tell a story. I picked "mercenaries" because that allowed for rapid movement between disparate plot devices. Recommendations? Plan to work really, really hard, and fail a LOT. I've got close to $200,000 in "failures" under my belt. I still owe money on some of that, too. Rolled into the mortgage, though. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

DABRB: In this economy? Nothing comes to mind. I've noticed you publish under Blank Label Comics. What can you tell us about that?

Howard: Blank Label Comics is a collective, incorporated as an LLC, that allows several of us like-minded cartoonists to streamline some of our business operations and do things we wouldn't be able to do individually. These people are all friends of mine. That's how it got its start.

DABRB: LLC?

Howard: Limited Liability Corporation.

DABRB: Sort of a web equivalent of a comics syndicate?

Howard: It's not really a syndicate. We don't do the distribution thing as a group. We've considered it, but the model doesn't seem to fit.

DABRB: Would you recommend this sort of thing to others?

Howard: Yes and no.

DABRB: Do tell.

Howard: I do recommend that cartoonists (and artists of ANY ilk) get together with like-minded artists, including some more senior folks in their field. Learn from each other. Learn at the feet of your betters. Practice what you're bad at, and let them tell you what you're worst at.



DABRB: Speaking of distribution, have you ever fantasized about SM going into the printed [newspaper] format.

Howard: Yes. Like most fantasies of mine, once I start contemplating the details required to make it a profitable reality I discovered some gaping problems with it. First: I don't want to work in b/w or greyscale. Second: I don't want an editor. Third: Peers of mine have done it, and the newspaper business was not good for their bottom line.

DABRB: I suppose we should talk about the actual comic at some point. In the latest/current story arc, politics play an important role in the story. Is this commentary on the Obama or Bush administrations?

Howard: HAH. No. My satire is a bit broader than that. I strongly disapprove of "entitlement," the thought that somehow the world (or the gummint) "owes" you something. But that sentiment is going to get exactly ONE strip of screaming theming, and then we'll move on. Mostly I'm just in it to tell a good story, and conflicts of political ideal make for especially good ones.

DABRB: In the past you have had a tendency to kill off characters. Aside from some convent time travel and a certain bear, these characters have remained dead. Does this present any obstacles in writing?

Howard: No. It presents obstacles in franchising. "Superman" is a franchise. So is "Tony the Tiger." They'll never die, and the comic book companies will continue to milk them. My characters have life-spans, though. It makes them more interesting. It makes them EASIER to write.

DABRB: It makes the fans rage.

Howard: Meh. They're in this for the story, too. I got nothing but positive email when Tagon died. I saved all of it just to be sure. There was some negative commentary when I brought him back, but since I knew I'd always planned to bring him back the "you chickened out" criticism fell kind of flat on me.

DABRB: You don't mean to say that everyone's favorite carbosilicate amorph (Schlock for my readers) might bite the big one?

Howard: Probably not. But he'll have character development. You've seen some of it in the current story.

DABRB: It has been noted that all your characters are dynamic rather than the standard static comic character. No wonder that you have as many readers as you do. How many do you have exactly?

Howard: 200,000 monthly uniques, maybe 40,000 daily readers. Not sure how many loyal irregulars there are.

DABRB: That's astounding. I have somewhere around....... 5, and I’m one of them.

Howard: You're probably off by at least two orders of magnitude for this interview.

DABRB: We can only hope. 40,000 a day, geez. How do you rely on "getting the word out" and buffing reader numbers?

Howard: Word of mouth. It's the most powerful form of marketing, and for my work it's also the most effective.

DABRB: The viral method. A tried and true means of advertising on the internet.

Howard: My loyal, zealous readers are my greatest asset. I worship them. (From afar.)

DABRB: I saw some fans discussing their favorite lines from the comic on the Schlock Facebook group. What are your favorite lines?



Howard: Any time I can work the title of the book or a Pirate Rule into a punchline I'm particularly pleased with myself. Those may not be fan favorites, but I sure like 'em.

DABRB: I'm glad you mentioned that. Amanda Doerr wants to know if you ever intend to make an actual book of rules.

Howard: Yup. Not before Spring of 2010, though.

DABRB: You heard it here first folks, a Do A Barrel Roll Blog exclusive! You can expect The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates around 2010!

DABRB: So, what webcomics do you like? Other than Schlock that is.

Howard: I don't read all that many anymore. I read all the BLC titles, The Whiteboard, Order of the Stick, Atland... several others. Mostly I've run out of time to sit in front of the computer and trawl entertainment. And now you know WTASF.

DABRB: Alright, just a few more. Amanda would also like to know if you intend to release a Box Set of your work for Schlock's 10th anniversary.

Howard: You won't have to wait that long.

DABRB: So is that a yes?

Howard: There will be a five-book box-set available with the release of book five, "The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance." The slipcase box will also be available separately, for those who already have the books.

DABRB: And you will naturally be giving signed copies to your friendly neighborhood bloggers I assume.

Howard: There are a few gift copies set aside with each release. I'm not completely sure who Sandra has on the list. She maintains it. Not me.

DABRB: Have I told you how much I love her work?

Howard: Your butter needs more butter. Maybe with a side of butter. We'll see.



DABRB: You can’t blame me for trying.
Amanda would also (also) like to know where you get your sources for the science implemented in your comic.

Howard: Science journalism, and of course I raid the vast piles of science fiction books in my own home. As John Cage said, "Well stolen is half-composed."

DABRB: The motto of the national media from what I understand.

Howard: No, theirs is more like "Well stolen is 90% composed. 95% if you have stock photos to add."

DABRB: I expect to see a bastardized version of this on CNN tomorrow morning. Cynicism aside, I have just a couple of questions left.

Howard: Sure.

DABRB: Amanda would also (she's persistent) like to know who you would like to act in the Schlock Mercenary movie.

Howard: I want a walk-on part. It's okay if my character dies. Tagon would be best played by a Stargate (the motion picture)-era Kurt Russell. Kevyn would be well served by a young, Jaws-era Richard Dreyfuss. Ennesby could be played by a just-finished Anne Boleyn.

DABRB: And Schlock?

Howard: Roseanne Barr.
No, wait.
John Goodman.
Hang on... Oprah Winfrey.

DABRB: ......

Howard: Rosie O'Donnell. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

DABRB: With plasma.

Howard: Seriously? The guy who voiced Skull the Troll for the PvP animations... Dino Andrade. He'd do a great job. There are lots of really, really talented voice actors out there who could probably pull it off. Or maybe the guy who voiced Gollum. Andy Serkis.

DABRB: That would make for an interesting movie.

Howard: That's just actors, and one gorey dead ex-royal. An interesting movie would require a good writer. And a good director, who shares the vision of the writer. And a good producer, willing to fund that vision appropriately, without excess or cutting corners.

DABRB: I'd pay to see that. (Remember kids, illegally downloading movies is bad.) fatum would like to know- Do you feel like you need to improve the world (or your readers) or do you just go along with the ride?

Howard: Like any self-respecting person I try to improve the world around me. I'm not an activist, though. That's too much work. Also, annoying.

DABRB: A good philosophy if I ever heard one. And one more question from fatum. Did you ever fell (or almost) in the soap trap ? With soap I mean when you deviate from the origin of the strip to solely focus on character development and human interactions (as in: no more thooomp in the strip).

Howard: Discovering that character development is interesting is not a trap. Doing it wrong, or at the exclusion of other, equally interesting things might be. I think World-Builder's Disease is much more dangerous in my line of work. I think I've struck the right balance by creating the strip I want to read. Check out www.writingexcuses.com for hours upon hours of discussion with me and others on this subject.

DABRB: Well Howard, it's been great having you (and your 200,000 fans) here. I hope we can do it again sometime. There is one last question though.

Howard: Yes?

DABRB: do you leik mudkipz?

Howard: Love 'em. But only if they're on fire, thanks.

DABRB: Talented and a sense of humor. How about that?

Well there you have it folks. One jumbo sized interview with a few exclusives to boot. If you liked this take a look at my other interviews including: Moose and Kitty of Clyde Winters, Dave and Psy of GG-Guys, and Scott Meyer of Basic Instructions (Coming Soon).

Got questions, rants, suggestions for interviews, or death threats? Then please comment or contact me at DoABarrelRollBlog@gmail.com.

(Special thanks to gark32, Amanda, fatum, and, of course, Howard)

Greeting Schlockians

Sorry for the lack of proper posting, buy some of us have midterms to study for. If you have questions for Howard, drop me a line at Doabarrelrollblog@gmail.com. Be sure to include Q&A in the subject line and your name if you would like to be credited for the question.

(Thanks to Brian Ballsun for having readily available Schlock pictures)